Bored...

I'm bored... bored with a lot right now... bored of being at home all the time...
and I'm tired... but it's really my own fault. I should have a job. Then maybe boredom wouldn't have time to set in. I'm looking for a job but like the other 9.5% of America, I'm not having luck. Struggling to make ends meet on Unemployment Benefits and now dealing with those funds being unexpectedly cut. Hopefully our wonderful government will pull their heads out of their rears and get all that situated. I read that I am just one of 2.5 million Americans who are not receiving benefits although they were expecting to continue getting them. I am so very thankful that my husband still has his job because without his job we'd be forced out on the street by this. Oh, the struggles of adulthood. Wouldn't it just be nice to have a day where the most difficult thing you did all day was picking out what clothes Barbie was gonna wear?

Bittersweet

Father's day...
A little bittersweet for me. I had to do a lot to keep my mind off my own problems and to keep it a special day for my husband. I miss my dad. I miss his voice, his advice, his hugs, his craziness, his complete understanding of life, the way he could help me see things in a way that made me smile, the way that he looked at my son and so many other reasons that I would need to write for days. We, as humans, have a tendency to really take things in life for granted. Our parents and them being there for everything forever is one thing. You have no idea how much I would love to pick up the phone and call my dad, just to say hi. Or how much I wish I would come home one day to one of his famous doorstep packages on my porch. Or how I wish I could see the look on his face when he sees my daughter. My dad looked the happiest I've ever seen him the day my son was born. The look in his eyes was incomparable to any before. When I think about my dad, that's what I see. How happy and proud he was. I just try to remember the good, but some days it's really hard to get past the bad. But really it's not bad to hurt... I've come to terms with that. Some days I just cry...

I love my brother!!

So from the title of this post you can probably tell this will be about my brother and why I love him... and yes, you're right...
My brother, Jack, is just awesome!! He's like 4 years younger than me and has accomplished so much that I'm slightly jealous but not really... He's worked VERY hard for everything he has and he's sharing his good fortune with me!!
I am buying a car from him and it's a great thing! My whole family can fit in it very comfortably and it's in great shape!! WOOO HOOO!!! We're no longer forced to fit 4 people into a tiny pick up truck with only 2 doors... I NEVER have to cram myself into the back of Chris' truck again!!! *happy dances all over the place*
Not to mention I'm not forced to stay within a 3 year old's walking distance of my house... Like I can walk all day... but my son.. he can only make it a few blocks and so we don't get to go very far from the house during the week... but not anymore!! YAY!!! Thanks Jack!!!!!
So anyway, now that I have a car to get around I'm so excited to start taking Devyn and Haley out to do more fun things during the week... the only thing that sucks right now... It's been all rainy for the last 2 days that I have had the car... LOL
go figure :)
but the rain will stop and I will be FREE!!!!!
or at least a little less restrained :)
<3

Frustration...

So I just don't get this... it's totally confusing me... so let's see if I can try to work this out in my head...
My mom... she's great and all but My grandfather, her dad, isn't. Wayne... he's a despicable man. He's done unmentionable things to people in my family and attempted such an act with me... He's not to be trusted, at least not in my eyes. So why would anyone expect me to be happy that he just showed up at my moms house this week. My husband and I made an adult decision here... we chose not to go to visit this man. We don't want to be around him and definitely don't want our beautiful children around him. My job as a mother is to do everything I can to prevent my children from being harmed. Red flags flying all over... So no... I didn't want to visit this man.
My mom, being the woman she is, got very upset with me for my choice. She also attempted to justify it by telling me that he's there with his girlfriend and that no one will be alone with him. Like, Why?? If we all know the kind of person he is then why would we even want to see him. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I really don't feel like I am, but my mom hasn't spoken to me in 2 days and I wish she knew that I made this choice for my family and not to hurt her... I'm so frustrated by this that I had to write this... I just needed to get it out.

When Tuesday has to be Monday

So, my husband had Monday off... so today is Monday on Tuesday... I think I like it. It means one day closer to the end of the week when I get some peace... HAHA yeah right. Peace isn't something that's easy to come by around here. On the weekends I am supposed to get a break and lately I just feel like I have an extra kid to take care of. I am a mom of 3... one is 31, one is 3 1/2 and the other is 3 months... so many 3's... haha. But seriously... I wonder how many other housewives feel the same way. I've been a stay at home mom for a year and a half now. Oh, I think I lost my mind about a year ago. It just hasn't seemed to get any easier. But maybe that's because we had another baby.
I think my brain is completely under stimulated. I spend so much of my days teaching basics to the kids that I don't challenge my mind. I feel like mental Jello :( Thus brings me to the thought... Time to get a JOB! or something. Talk to some people that can carry on a conversation and not have to be reminded to get their hands out of their noses. Be able to go 5 hours without saying "Stop!", "Be quiet, you're gonna wake up your sister", or "Do you need to pee?, I know you do, come on let's go".
I know my husband has a "real" job. But mine is as real as any. When we had daycare we paid someone $650 a month to do what I'm doing. And that was only for one kid... now we have two. I think that I need some vacation time and sick days... LOL. What do you think??